We’re going to ride WHAT? Strange dark rides that will make you question the very fabric of reality

Dark rides have been a staple of theme and amusement parks from the beginning, so it’s no wonder that among the classic haunted houses and water-based pirate adventures, rides have popped up that put a completely new spin on the concept. From family rides and parks with not so family-friendly themes, to mesmerising sensory experiences that will leave you confused and awestruck, and even rides that have no theme at all, join me as I explore some of the strangest dark rides around the world!

Terminus, Travelling Fair Circuit

When you pay to ride a dark ride at your local travelling fair, you’d expect there to be theming, right? Well, if that dark ride is Terminus, you might need to lower your expectations. On first arriving at the ride, the façade is decorated with images of zombies, and every few moments a train can be spotted going down a little drop at the front of the attraction, but this hint at thrill and maybe a zombie haunted house theme is quickly lost as riders board the train. You begin this weirdly unique experience by climbing the lifthill, which boasts just one piece of theming: a zombie static figure glaring from a cage, but this is where the zombie theme, or any theme, for that matter, ends.

The remainder of the attraction takes riders on a gentle yet tedious journey through a series of metal hallways that on most rides would be filled with theming, but this is Terminus: there is no theming. After a while riders do get the thrill of dropping down a small dip and back up into the show building, and a winding ride on a Wild-Mouse style layout, but, with many people considering this the worst dark ride in the world, there really isn’t much going for Terminus.

Not much is known about the history of this unimaginative experience, but it did once operate under another name: Mouse Trap. This version of the attraction was a lot better themed- although there is section that is empty in both versions, the inside of the older ride is much more colourful, and has a defined theme that at least provided a bit of entertainment. Today there is absolutely nothing to look at other than metal walls, and very little to listen to other than the mechanical sounds of trains on a track, which in a way is pretty creepy- maybe there is a horror element to the ride after all!

Meow Wolf Kaleidoscape, Elitch Gardens

In a way, this new-for-2019 dark ride could be considered to be a polar opposite to Terminus- it’s bright, heavily themed and offers a truly immersive experience through a magical world of incredible lights and colours. Designed by New Mexico based arts group Meow Wolf, Kaleidoscape is described as “a thrill ride for the mind”, and it’s certainly that, creating a ride experience that is as mesmerising as it is confusing.

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Riders begin the experience by travelling through an elaborately themed queueline, meeting a colourful, retro animatronic along the way who explains the storyline of the attraction, and informs you that the park is not responsible for “deformation of internal sense of deja vu” or a few other ‘risks’ that the ride could pose (which is slightly unsettling!).

Check out this awesome video from Meow Wolf promoting the ride! Warning for flashing lights and colours.

On entering the load/unload station, riders board their colourfully patterned ride vehicle and venture into the immersive world of Kaleidoscape, following a tiny speck of light on its journey to becoming a huge, bright being, passing by elaborate sets, theming and A LOT of flashing lights along the way! If ride design is considered a form of art, then this one is a dazzling, hypnotising masterpiece!

Body Wars and The Making of Me, Epcot

Disney theme parks are the lands of yesterday, tomorrow and fantasy, but there are some attractions that introduce a fourth factor into this: uncensored and slightly unsettling reality, and this is where Epcot’s ninth and arguably strangest Future World pavilion comes in. At first glance, it may seem like it would be pretty difficult to make a pavilion promoting the importance of looking after your mental and physical health weird, but somehow, Wonders of Life managed to pull this off, and it was weirder and in some cases more controversial than anyone could have anticipated.

Making its debut around seven years after Epcot’s opening day in 1982, Wonders of Life was housed inside a majestic golden dome nestled between Horizons (now Mission: SPACE) and Universe of Energy (soon to be Cosmic Rewind!), and was home to three main attractions, as well as a few smaller ones. The first of these, Cranium Command, was normal enough, taking guests on a journey into the mind of a 12 year old with ‘Cranium Commando’ Buzzy. It was a concept that had been around since the earliest designs for Epcot, when the attraction would have been called Brain Command and the Pavilion was named Life and Health. It proved to be a success- so much that someone actually stole the Buzzy animatronic back in 2018- but it was the other two, The Making of Me and Body Wars, that gave Wonders of Life the strangeness we know it for today.

At the time of its opening, Body Wars was considered the most intense and thrilling ride at Epcot, as well as the most disgusting, and that last legacy held true right up until its closure in 2007. The ride system was nearly identical to Star Tours in Disneyland and Hollywood Studios, except instead of flying through space with C3PO, you are flying through an unsettlingly realistic rendering of the inside of the human body. Combined with the roughness of the simulator, its no wonder people were having wars with their own bodies and trying not to re-meet their lunch.

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But if getting up close and personal with the inside of your blood vessels wasn’t disgusting enough for you, just a few metres away you had the opportunity to learn how babies are made, likely sat alongside children whose innocence is being ruined, and plenty of mortified parents who had no idea what they were signing themselves up for.

Although not a dark ride, or even a ride really, this next attraction, The Making of Me, is just too obscure not to discuss. Housed inside a small theatre attached to the side of the dome, the film, starring actor Martin Short, showed guests the magic of conception and birth, starting with two teenagers meeting in high school, and eventually getting married going on a honeymoon, and having a child.

The most controversial part of the show however, was the segment right before the child is born, when a female egg and male sperm meet and- you can imagine the awkward conversations that went on between parents and kids after that experience. To be fair, there was a sign outside the theatre warning that some uncomfortable topics will be explored, but many were still taken by surprise nonetheless.

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In its earliest years of operation, Epcot really did have some strange attractions, from the slightly strange and unique, to the how-and-why-did-this-make-it-into-a-Disney-park levels of weirdness, and while Cranium Command may have fallen into the first category, there’s no denying that Body Wars and The Making of Me fit firmly into the second. Over the years, as MetLife failed to renew their sponsorship of Wonders of Life, and newer experiences opened up across the park, the pavilion began to decline in popularity, and its three attractions fell into disrepair. Wonders of Life officially closed in January 2007, and for over ten years was standing but not operating, occasionally being used as a festival centre, but mostly just standing but operating.

In 2019, it was announced that Wonders of Life would receive a complete reimagining as the PLAY pavilion, themed as a futuristic city modelled off of Ralph Breaks The Internet’s representation of the Internet. Although it is amazing to see updates and rethemes coming to old, iconic rides and pavilions, it’s still fun to take a look back in time at the strange rides of the past!

The Cremator, Window of the World

If asked to think of morbid and creepy dark rides, what comes to mind likely doesn’t stray too far from the iconic Haunted House type attractions we see at many of our favourite theme parks, but while haunted houses explore the idea of afterlife, ghosts and ghouls, there is one ride, located at Window of the World in Shenzen, China, that goes one step back from that and quite literally simulates death.

The attraction, simply and bluntly named The Cremator, somewhat stands out in Window of the World, which is pretty family-orientated with a focus on worldwide travel and exploration, kind of like a combination of Europa Park and Epcot (just without the giant geodesic spheres!). But if Epcot can have its share of weird attractions (I’m looking at you Wonders of Life!) so can this park, and they have certainly taken up this opportunity.

Riders, whether unsuspecting or knowledgeable about the horrors that await, enter a dingy mortuary filled with plastic body parts that look scarily realistic, and soon lie down in wooden coffin ride vehicles, ready to do exactly what the ride’s name says: be cremated. Or at least, simulate getting cremated- the ride hasn’t actually killed anyone. You then travel through a brick archway and into the fire, soon emerging from the chamber after a while, not quite cremated, but definitely shaken from having just simulated the ultimate doom.

At this point you may be wondering why on earth someone would want to feel as if they are being burnt alive (I know I wouldn’t!), but The Cremator does actually serve a larger purpose than creating nightmares: it is designed to make people feel less scared of death! According to some riders, it really works, while according to others not so much. Speaking to the Mail Online, who did a story on this ride back in May 2015, those who didn’t have the most enjoyable experience said “it was horrifying” and that they are “never coming back”. But some had more positive things to say, telling the news outlet that it was “quite good fun”. I guess your enjoyment of this ride depends on how much you want to experience a very different kind of thrill at a theme park.

Although designing a ride simulating what many people fear most may seem like a daunting task requiring the very best in theme park technology, the tech used to create this experience is actually quite simple: lighting effects create the fire, while air blasted at 40°C is used to create the feeling of burning. I suppose this just goes to show how the most simplistic of rides can sometimes be the most terrifying!

Original Alice in Wonderland Ride, Disneyland

Alice in Wonderland: the classic but slightly strange film following the adventures of seven-year-old Alice, as she tumbles down a rabbit hole and into the wacky world of Wonderland. Seems innocent enough, right? And you’d likely expect a ride centring around the 1951 movie to share this innocence, but, if we’ve learned anything from this post, it’s that if anything in a theme park seems innocent and family-friendly, there’s probably something proving it isn’t, and unfortunately, the original version of Disneyland’s Alice in Wonderland dark ride is no different.

Ever since Disneyland’s early planning stages, there were plans for some kind of Alice in Wonderland attraction. Originally it was set to be an elaborate walkthrough maze, allowing guests to travel through the scenes of the film, but this was quickly scrapped with the hope that it could come to fruition at some point in the next decade. Budgeting was a huge problem when Disneyland was being constructed- balancing creativity with limited amounts of money was and still is quite difficult to do- leading to much of the original plans being cut or drastically reduced, and the Alice in Wonderland walkthrough was one of many to be put away for a few years. The 1951 animated film did have a presence in Fantasyland, with Mad Tea Party opening with the park in 1955, but by the time of the 1958 Fantasyland overhaul, and with all of the magical new renovations there was a perfect opportunity to revive the shelved concept.

After some deliberation it was decided that, instead of a maze, the the attraction should come in the form of a dark ride built on the top floor of Mr Toad’s Wild Ride’s show building (if you break down on Mr Toad’s and the audio is switched off, you can sometimes hear parts of Alice in Wonderland’s audio from upstairs!). By doing this, it was hoped that it would combat the problem of guests loitering in a few areas of the walkthrough and increase capacity for the attraction. The concept of an Alice in Wonderland maze wasn’t abandoned completely however- you can still explore Wonderland at your own pace in Alice’s Curious Labyrinth at Disneyland Paris!

Imagineers worked hard to bring the nonsensical world of Wonderland to Disneyland, and they succeeded, bringing to life many of the scenes both from the movie and from the maze, as well as some new scenes that likely left riders very confused. After an elaborate opening ceremony featuring Alice and a slightly terrifying White Rabbit, guests were greeted by a whimsical ride façade hinting at a magical adventure inside. The actual ride however, was a lot less whimsical, and the magic it offered certainly wasn’t the usual family-friendly Disney magic we’re used to.

The experience started off normal enough, with guests boarding their giant caterpillar ride vehicle and gliding up a twisting vine up into the show building. The inside, however, was where it got really weird. In one of the first scenes a rather creepy Cheshire Cat would stare you down, laughing maniacally with an easily visible speaker right in the middle of its gaping mouth. (Was there really nowhere else they could have put the speaker?)

Later in the ride, guests would attend the Mad Tea Party, which certainly lived up to its name, and definitely wasn’t the Happy Unbirthday you’d expect from a Fantasyland ride. The Mad Hatter and March Hare, with insane looks on their weirdly purple faces, would scream at unsuspecting, innocent riders and call them rude, before becoming so annoyed at the guests for doing absolutely nothing that they attempted to kill them with an exploding Unbirthday cake. Death was actually quite a common subject for early Disneyland dark rides to tackle, with both Snow White’s Scary Adventures and Mr Toad’s Wild Ride featuring a death scene close to the end of the attraction.

If you survived that horrifying experience, there was one more moment of fear before you could escape the Rabbit Hole. Your caterpillar takes you crashing though a set of doors themed as livid Playing Card guards, complete with Goofy’s agonising screams of terror blasting in the background. To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if Goofy wasn’t the only one traumatised by this ride- it truly would have been a petrifying experience!

The ride remained largely the same until the early 1980s, when Fantasyland was in need of another overhaul, to make it more relevant to families at the time, and to make it a bit of a less terrifying place to be. Many of the land’s dark rides got some kind of refurb to reduce the fear factor, but Alice In Wonderland received a complete reimagining, mostly involving removing the more frightening scenes and replacing them with something a little more kid-friendly.

The new version opened with New Fantasyland in 1983, allowing riders to fall down the rabbit hole with Alice without getting nightmares, with a slightly longer ride experience, and widened vines at the beginning of the ride as a safety measure. Today the ride is relatively similar to that 1983 version, but updated with some newer technology to create an immersive experience for all the family! Let’s just hope no one ever has to hear Goofy screaming in agonising pain and terror on a Disney ride again.

Have you ever ridden any of these bizarre attractions? What’s the weirdest ride you’ve ridden? Let me know in the comments below!

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You are all clear… and outta here! Thanks for reading!

-Lily